Monday, 13 July 2009

Free Willy Anyone?

Today I am speechless with the exception of just a few words. Psychiatrists, feel free to regard my personal ad as a cry of help:

Wanted: A loving home for a reusable straw, delicately shaped in the form of a male appendage. Rescued from a hen party. Unused, but could be repurposed as a plant support, nostril cleaner or milkshake stirrer. Available free to the first person who wants it.

When my brain has recovered from working out the number of plastic willies that could be potentially buried in landfill, normal service will resume. Until then, I welcome as many of your recommendations as you dare to suggest for reusing my free gift. Just remember to keep it clean. I blush easily you know.



Ruth said...

Oh! I had one of those lurking around the house for ages before I gave in and sent it to landfill. Just the appendage - with my one it could be removed from the straw.

GardenMum said...

Build a scarecrow and tuck it in his trousers.

Layla said...

lol Garden Mum!! :)

or donate to children sex-ed hmm?
maybe not..

I was stuck with one of these too, & probably still have it somewhere..?

maybe they should make biodegradable or just cookies/bagels or something??
of course all future brides (& their evil bridesmaids!;) would need to be educated, lol!!

Unknown said...

I have lots of these tied to my hen night hat still!! I suppose you could make it into an interesting table piece...maybe not so good with kids around! x

Lisa Nelsen-Woods said...

Male appendage? It's a straw in the shape of a finger, right? ;)

Anonymous said...

Lucy Carlyle said...

I too have a "sexy" straw from a hen party. I have resorted to hiding it in the glovebox of my car so far. What can be done with it? Please help as I have a horrible feeling that next time I offer my mother-in-law a lift she may chance upon it when searching for a tissue...

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Could you give it to your hens to have a peck at! A x

Layla said...

lol Dorothy - make an interesting art exhibit piece? (& sell it for millions of GBP in the Tate? ;)

Unknown said...

i reckon it could be saved until children are of an appropriate age and then used to make Ken more realistic for birds and bees purposes if you get my drift. Alternatively you could start a hen party lending library he he he

Layla said...

OMG zooarcheologist - WOW!! What great ideas!! :)

Mrs A, do post on the blog (with photos!!;) if you do/make any of these!! :)

Anonymous said...

Love the hen party library idea! Would make hen parties greener as you would be able to give plastic tat back at the end.

I'd save it for condom putting on lesson when children are older.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Extrememly useful for attacking burglars with, I'm sure... or cleaning the bottom (oh, sorree) of very long vases?

Almost Mrs Average said...

I may not have been around for a while, but I've certainly enjoyed the fabulous ideas that have come through. Thank you all - There's nothing like being tickled pink so to speak.

LOL Ruth - looks like you had the more considerate model, being left with an ordinary straw is a result :-D

Hahaha Garden Mum - there's a regular scarecrow festival at a local village....I can see a prank coming on. Hmmm. thanks for the top tip :-D

LOL Layla - Sex Ed, perhaps I should keep it until the boys are older. Edible alternatives would most definitely solve the landfill option. And as for plastic novelties, they should be made from recycled plastic at the very least. :-D

Oh dear Clareybabble - A HAT LOL, I think we need a photo :-D

LOL Condo course :-D

Hahahaha Dorothy - LOL, and of course what would your own mother say if she also delved into your glove compartment. Just make sure you've got the camera to hand. :-D

Hi Anne - welcome back from your hols. haha, the chickens. Of course. LOL. That would bring a whole new meantime to a hen party. Just imagine the hentertainment :-D

LOL Zooarchaeologist - A lending library. Now the mind boggles over the options available. And as for Ken, yep I think it's the perfect size :-D

Hahaha Victoria - it'll be perfect with a balloon. LOL :-D

LOL Ladybird World Mother - looks like I'll be keeping onto it for a lot longer with so many practical uses. I could use it for cleaning bottles too. Endless uses indeed - who would have guessed :-D

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