Curiouser and Curiouser: A right royal tale

"Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" I muttered, as I struggled to get my bike out of the garage.

I felt like the white rabbit from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, hurrying and scurrying around whilst fiddling with my two-wheeled contraption that had been hidden away for most of the Winter.

But why the rush?

I was off to see the Queen. Or rather, off to see if I could see the Queen. Not Lewis Carroll's Queen of Hearts I should add, but Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, on a rare visit to Bury St Edmunds. I've only ever seen her on TV, so I was curious to see her in the flesh.

I had only 10 minutes to cycle into town. I was most definitely running late.

But it was downhill all the way.... which meant descending a very steep slope, the kind that makes you want to shout "wheeeee" - all childlike, with my legs stretched out in a manner suited to balancing at high speed.

It was good to feel 10 again.

But I bet a 10 year old wouldn't have had a red face when they reached the bottom of the hill, like a big juicy raspberry on legs, huffing and puffing as the incline gave way to a a more level street, lined with people perfectly positioned for their first view of the royal party.

There was no traffic in front or behind. Just me, peddling past all the locals, the policemen and the men in dressed in black - the security professionals that had the whole town under scrutiny.

I wondered whether my reusable bags-for-life all scrunched up in my shopping basket would be met with an air of suspicion. I hoped not. I would have crumpled if I'd been stopped by a man in black and too scared of the consequences, despite my innocent nature. It was a curious experience indeed.

It was also a miracle that I made it into town just in time to see Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh passing through. The people clapped, cheered and waved flags. The crowd then followed the royal car towards the cathedral, while I made my way to the lounge of the historic Angel Hotel, where I often hide away with my laptop, regularly witnessing the appearance of the glass recycling bin being wheeled to the back door and bemusing the staff with my interest in such an activity.

So while Her Majesty distributed the Maundy Money and then wined and dined with the guests, I worked away like a busy little bee, tapping at the laptop to get as much done as I could possibly achieve before the arrival of the Easter bank holiday

But disturbed by a sudden noise, I looked over towards the lobby as the gentle humdrum of the lounge gave way to heavy footsteps marching up the stairs.

Blimmin' 'eck I couldn't believe my eyes - there were Beefeaters climbing the apples and pears. A whole army of them, or whatever the collective term may be for the traditional warders of The Tower of London. There were so many, I hoped the crown jewels were still in safe hands.

There they were, all the way up from London, looking fabulous in their costumes of red and gold. So distinguished and so British and so rare a sight in Suffolk.

Before the experience rendered itself into a figment of my overactive imagination. I rang my friend Ruby, who has a passion for historic events but who was unfortunately otherwise engaged and unable to make it into town that day.

"Guess what I've just seen," I chuckled and told her the tale of the Queen's Beefeaters."

She listened intently as I related my right royal story.

"Well guess what I've just seen," she said with a more serious tone.

"Waitrose's right royal parody of a veg box".

Now that's something special I thought. Waitrose selling veg boxes with a royal warrant by appointment.

But what she described was certainly no veg box, more of a recession-beating bargain of a veg bag, all prepacked with assorted vegetables for just a fiver. Now that was cheap, but with such a low price tag, surely it had to come at a cost! And it did because each group of vegetables were all carefully wrapped in their own plastic bags before being placed in the larger plastic bag, all for extending shelf life of course. How my jaw dropped. There's more plastic in there than one can shake a stick at, if you beg my royal pardon.

My day of flirting with glimpses of royalty might have been a curious adventure, but for me Ruby's tale of the assorted veg bags was the most curious event of them all, especially when retailers are busy trying to reduce the amount of packaging on their shelves, suddenly we were witnessing an example of a reversal in trend.

Where I'd glided down that hill in delight, I groaned all the way back up, not at the steepness of the incline, but at the thought of all those bags and whether other supermarkets are doing the same. I was certainly more red-faced by the time I'd reached the top. And as I arrived home, I felt more like a raspberry jelly balancing on a pair of wobbly legs.

I've since written to Waitrose, this evening in fact, after I'd managed to see the veg bags for myself in their plastic glory as Ruby had described.

I wonder if the royal household has bought any yet because of course Waitrose holds a Royal Warrant with Her Majesty The Queen.

Maybe I should ring and ask, but then again, maybe I'll mind my own business and stick to the local market, where I can get a whole lot more for a fiver, contained in just one reusable bag.

And maybe, just maybe, an alternative recession-busting solution can be found for Waitrose's assorted bag of plastic wrapped veg.

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Fed up of over-packaging?

Then join the campaign, which will be taken by Green Voice to the UK Government. As we know every little LESS helps.


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Birthday Musings: Part 5. The Awards Ceremony

What a funny old week. One day I’m neurotic the other I’m relieved. What a real old bag of emotions I’ve turned out to be. All because of a birthday party. But the truth is out...I’m a batty old bird, who was brave enough to say “no presents please” to the first few recipients of the party invitations, then scuttled back to my nest thinking forget it.

Anyway, as tradition has it, the thank you cards are being written and will be winging their way to friends and family soon. And we truly grateful for the presents that have been given to Little T this week, so thank you to all our friends and family. You've all been very kind.

However having anticipated, unwrapped and opened, it's now time for the AMABAs, Almost Mrs Average's Birthday Awards.

So from the podium, I am pleased to announce the first award, as declared by Little T himself.

Yes, the first award is for Little T's most played with present...the one that he won't leave home without

...The nominees in this category are The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter, The Magnetic Fishing Game, Roary Racing Car Books, Groovy glue stick, Garden sticky ball game, and the Crayola Create Your Own Racing Snails.

So cue-drum roll and air of anticipation.

Ladies and gentlemen...(rustle of paper for effect)... I am pleased to announce the undisputed winner is....

The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter...

Round of applause please. And to the other nominees, thank you, thank you, thank you...it was very close and time will tell...you know how fickle kids can be.

But moving swiftly on...to the next category, the one where it took time to open, with twisting bits here, twisting bits there...


Yes, the next award is for the Most Overpackaged Children's Toy.

...The nominees in this category are...The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter

erm....just one nominee? That can only mean the outright winner for the category of overpackaged children's toy is the...

The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter...

... which even comes with a few of these...whatever they are called.



In fairness the overpackaging on this item isn't as bad as some toys I've seen in the past. However why Corgi need to strap the toy to the box, I really don't understand. After the thank you cards have all gone, I will also send a card to Corgi, telling them that Little T doesn't really need the extra bits of plastic that came with it thank you very much. He'd much rather whip the toy straight out of the box and play, play, play!

So that's what we're off to do. With the weekend upon us and lots of toys to play with, we're off to have fun.

But before I go, I'd just like to thank everyone again, not quite a Gwyneth Paltrow moment, but enough to say, thanks to everyone who participated in Little T's birthday and to the readers who have sent birthday wishes. It's been a fun week...and one more time...Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Hope you all enjoy the weekend and see you next week for some more fun and games.

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